It's been 15 years since you died, but I still think about you everyday. I went to your graveside today. I know you're not there, but I like planting a flower there each year to show people that someone still misses you everyday. I don't really know what you'd think of the grown-up me and the choices I've made, but I do know you'd love me and I hope one day to know with confidence that I've done something of which you'd be proud.
That pretty little graveyard gets more full each year, your stone is less secluded. More people like me left without someone who meant the world to them. The air was cool there, but the sun was high and warm, and it felt like spring, and I didn't cry because I felt happy, and for some reason the sunshine made me feel closer to your memory than all the years past. Maybe because so many of my memories of you are comforting, like sunshine, and green leaves, and spring.
I love you and miss you,