Tuesday, May 7, 2013

Where I'm At Right Now

Actually, loving life. I can't believe I went through such a long haul where everything seemed... bleak.
Maybe I need to re-phrase that... I've always loved life, that's never been the issue, but I often felt like life didn't return the sentiment. Lately, I just feel happy, really happy.

That being said, I had to make the decision to simplify my life. If I have too many hobbies even, I start to feel overwhelmed with the need to catch up on those hobbies. It's ridiculous, yes, but it's my natural tendency.
Part of that involved constantly feeling the need to focus on blogging. I seemed to feel it was pivotal to my business and non-profit growth. I'm not getting rid of my blog because I still love posting, it's just no longer a priority in any capacity. 
I will of course be semi disappointed if I loose followers, but really, it shouldn't be about that anyway. I'm a compulsive documenter. This is my space to document my life... to some extent that day has passed... because I've found other meaningful ways to do that. Plus,  you know, being a photographer, I do a lot of that all the time.... 

It's not just my blog. I've closed a number of my social media accounts. For the longest time, I debated closing my facebook even, but I decided instead to just use my facebook differently, hopefully more effectively and make it the central hob of my social media interactions.

What do I intend to focus on instead?

-me! of course! It bothers me a lot sometimes that I'm 31 and single. This summer, I've decided I don't care. If I'm tempted to worry, I'm pushing it out of my brain. I want a devote, born-again Christian, into social welfare, (hopefully with a pretty regular job since I have a zillion years of school debt to pay off and only part-time work plus freelance... wait, that sounds like I want a man to pay off my debt, haha, not what I mean... financial stability would be nice, that's what I mean). That's a really specific type of man for a small town girl with no real intention of re-locating since I LOVE MY TOWN! The point is, I'm done stressing about it. 

-Baby rabbits, obviously. Weetzie Bat is due in 11 days!!! Bah! So excited.

-Being a writer and reporter and photographer, do you know how happy it makes me that I've finally, finally figured this out?

-Changing the world, yes, it's a lofty goal... and I don't mean literally changing the whole world.... I mean when I was a child I really believed people could make a difference. As a cynical teen, I thought the world was too big to really change, and people in general too apathetic. Now, I don't care. I see injustice in the world. I see the need for compassion. Nah sayers... boo to you. I love people and I'm going to find even the smallest ways to restore their faith in humanity. In case you didn't know, I really struggled with Depression in the last year. REALLY. Part of that was just being surrounded by so much negativity (News) all the time. You know what helped me beat it.... other than some pretty strong medication.... looking for small, amazing, good things in every day life and in people. 

-Photography Club
-Hobby-wise, just cross-stitching and the occasional jewellery-making
-Praying and Reading Uplifting things, also doing more research in general
-Drinking more water!!!!
-Writing. Way, way more writing. I have so many ideas swimming around in my brain all the time... I decided the best outlet, the easiest way to make a difference.... write it.
-Editting my photos the way I like them and re-doing my website to express me. Only have one website. Yikes.

And here's some pretty pictures from the Eisling Greenhouse.
This last one is my favourite.

Other things to bite the dust? Etsy stores. So much work. Although eventually I'll re-open a Fine Art Photography shop because I have three accounts. Etsy WILL NOT be the only place I sell them. I love it, but again, it's a lot of work. Also, I'm not going to try to find a niche beyond what I have. It`s too forced. I love photographing flowers... so what if there isn't really a market for it. I'm doing it. I`ll fall into something else that works. I`m NOT going to obsess over what I eat. It`s so easy to do.
I`m going to live!
And wonder why I speak French in my dreams sometimes.
I don`t even speak it in day to day life confidently.
Dreams are awesome.

I was looking for an appropriate French cartoon, but I found this instead.
Women are often the most critical of each other... so... this is a bit funny.











2 comments:

With Love, Jamie said...

I'm never gonna stop following you! :)
I'm happy that you are taking steps to better yourself! Much love!
xoxo

Teddi said...

that's awesome that you are embracing what you like, and letting go of what isn't important. your photos are excellent charity. i wish i dreamed in french. ;)