Tuesday, February 12, 2013

Real Life: On Not Having A Mom

I'm pretty sure most people won't be able to relate to this post and to be honest, I guess it's a bit too personal, but really that's the point of "Real Life" posts.

I never miss my mother. In fact, most of the time I forget that I have a mother at all. We don't talk. I don't want to talk. It's not that I'm bitter or unforgiving... I just don't want to. She's been gone from my life now for 17 years. Sometimes people say "Oh, I will pray that one day you and your mother will be reunited" and I say "no thank-you". Something her and my grandmother fail to realize.... if the world ended and my mother and I were the last two people on earth and my mother had all the food... I would starve. Okay, that sounds bitter, but it's not bitterness. It's frustration. I get tired of people expecting me to want to have my mom in my life. I don't want to... there's nothing wrong with that. I loved my father dearly. I love my aunt and uncle who took me in dearly. They've always been enough. I feel no void, no longing, no whatever... not in the same way I miss my dad or little brother.

Anyway, that's all.... maybe too real. Maybe you won't understand, but it's a little rant from me... right here.
My dad and my two younger brothers. When I was 13, it was just the four of us... and I have to say, that year is my favourite year to think back on. I miss you daddy.

It would have been my dad's birthday tomorrow. Must be why I'm thinking about this.


Teddi said...

i know your dad was awesome, because you told me so, and i believe you. it's good to know you value yourself. i bet more people identify with this post than you realize. it's your blog. it's your truth. it's your expression. it doesn't matter what anyone thinks or says. love you.

Unknown said...

aw. i love you!! i hope that you had a great week in spite of it all. youre in my heart and prayers!!