I never miss my mother. In fact, most of the time I forget that I have a mother at all. We don't talk. I don't want to talk. It's not that I'm bitter or unforgiving... I just don't want to. She's been gone from my life now for 17 years. Sometimes people say "Oh, I will pray that one day you and your mother will be reunited" and I say "no thank-you". Something her and my grandmother fail to realize.... if the world ended and my mother and I were the last two people on earth and my mother had all the food... I would starve. Okay, that sounds bitter, but it's not bitterness. It's frustration. I get tired of people expecting me to want to have my mom in my life. I don't want to... there's nothing wrong with that. I loved my father dearly. I love my aunt and uncle who took me in dearly. They've always been enough. I feel no void, no longing, no whatever... not in the same way I miss my dad or little brother.
Anyway, that's all.... maybe too real. Maybe you won't understand, but it's a little rant from me... right here.
My dad and my two younger brothers. When I was 13, it was just the four of us... and I have to say, that year is my favourite year to think back on. I miss you daddy.
It would have been my dad's birthday tomorrow. Must be why I'm thinking about this.
1 comment:
i know your dad was awesome, because you told me so, and i believe you. it's good to know you value yourself. i bet more people identify with this post than you realize. it's your blog. it's your truth. it's your expression. it doesn't matter what anyone thinks or says. love you.
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