Monday, January 7, 2013

Love and absolute dislike

A photo of me... at my job. I love my job. This issue below relates to school.... a combination of my love (photography) and my absolute dislike (conflict)

Twice since I started this college program, I've been "in trouble" for things that I say online. In one case, I was actually addressing someone else who was addressing the online community. I'm not condoning my behaviour... in both of the cases I could probably have been more private or just said nothing at all, but in every case when I've ever vented online.... it hasn't been for myself. It's been because I felt other people were being treated unfairly and the situation needed to be addressed.

I know a lot of people feel the internet isn't a place to air things, and I tend to agree... but I also feel that the internet provides one very useful purpose, it holds people accountable. Niagara College, where I attend school, isn't meeting up to the standards of post-secondary institutions. Perhaps some of the other programs are excellent, so I shouldn't speak for the whole College... but the program I am enrolled in, albeit a new program, has a lot of issues that need to be resolved before it becomes a really good program... so at this stage, I recommend, you probably go somewhere else. I'm not posting the link to this post on facebook... so there isn't anyone to report it back to the school this time (yes, people at my school actually snitch on each other to the professors). That being said, I am NOT going to write my real grievances at this time particularly because they don't relate just to me.

And perhaps that's what this article is really about..... classmates. In a lot of ways, a lot of the problems that arise at the school are a result of my classmates. Sometimes I try to tell myself that the problems arise because the other students in the program are fresh out of high school BUT this is very unfair to other 18 and 19 years old who don't act like squabbling babies. In reality, I tell myself this just so I don't rip out my hair.

In all my life, I have only encountered a few people that I genuinely don't like, yes there are people who irk me on occasion or whatever but in this case, I mean people I just can't understand their motivation for being quite so.... horrible. I am quite adept at avoiding conflict. Since I enrolled in this program, I can't seem to avoid it. I have certainly had to learn new skills, not only for facing opposition but also for coping afterwards. As you know, I try to make kindness and love my first priorities in my personal philosophy. I have encountered people in the last few years who actually won't let me be nice to them. This doesn't mean I'm going to stop trying since I still have to face them but it stresses me out that I can't get my mind around what's going on. I am not without blame, but I'm a firm believer in shaking hands and moving on.

Anyway, I guess I need to let the hurt and disappointment go... both in myself and in those involved. Otherwise, I'm a hypocrite ;) haha.

"If your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink. In doing this, you will heap coals of fire on his head" 

(In this case, the people stressing me out are girls... very petty, mean, snobby, spoiled girls).


1 comment:

Teddi said...

for some reason i suspected they were girls, and it makes me sad that we do this to each other. i wish it weren't so. guys don't seem to be that way.